Playing myself

During my first year of Yoga practice I attended a weekly group class on Friday mornings. At one point I observed that my presence and quality of practice would be influenced by how my work week ended. If I was agitated on thursday night, my yoga practice would be agitated as well and I would be impatient. If I was relaxed then yoga practice would have flowing sensation – thing would seem to move and fall into place.

A few days ago I realized that my Shakuhachi playing had a nervous quality to it. Yesterday I listened to some recorded Shakuhachi music and this reinforced my observation. I felt that the music I was listening to was slow and patient, every note given time to become, many spaces between notes and a feeling of meditative flow. My playing over the past days is definitely of different qualities.

Playing Shakuhachi, alongside my recently resumed asana practice, is indeed revealing to me a quality of nervousness and agitation I have recognized and felt within me. I am greatful to have these tools available to me and I am know that recognition itself is a door opening to change and growth. I recognize an agitation within me, I recognize my hand in it and I look forward to experience it changing.