Last year I was an amateur at drying leaves, this is year I am still an amateur – but I’ve picked up some local wisdom – so I’m doing this a bit differently. This year I’ve started a bit earlier – getting ahead of the sun and of little creatures with who we share some of our plants. I’ve also gone from hanging thing outside to laying them out inside in a less extreme environment. I also wash them before setting them to dry.

It started today because I’ve spent more time then I usually do (which is a lot anyway) on the computer working on a wonderful website project (more on that soon I hope). I finished my work for today and then wanted to do my evening Yoga practice – but my mind was really all over the place and my energy nervous. So I sat down to watch an episode of Flash Forward (we are late to the game as we live without any broadcast media) – and that was a huge mistake – my energy completely crashed and all I wanted to do was sleep. So it was either surrender or see what I can do. I wondered around pointlessly for a few minutes looking for a way out of the trap I walked into …  that’s when drying season opened

I started with what little mint leaves have grown for us. What they lack for in quantity and size they make for in aroma. Amazing! They will be an excellent decorating-flavor in the tea mix.

Next up was the primary drying objective for this evening – the overflowing lemongrass. I didn’t get a shot of it full grown this time (maybe it will grow again this season and I’ll get that image) – but here’s a sink full of it:

And that’s what was set to dry – that flat pile is about 1 meter long and half a meter wide. We still have a few bags leftover from last season – but I think we’ll indulge in some fresh ones first

It is so amazing to watch these things grow every year – over and over again – a direct and natural experience of abundance.

Now off to practice

This morning I finished reading (for the n-th time) the last book Frank Herbert wrote in the Dune series – “Chapterhouse: Dune“. I then (again) encountered an intimate and moving afterword by the author:

“One of the best things I can say about Bev is there was nothing in our life together I need forget, not even the graceful moment of her death. She gave me then the ultimate gift of her love, a peacefull passing she had spoken of without fear or tears, allaying thereby my own fears. What greater gift is there than to demonstrate you need not fear death?”

Robert Pirsig

I then remembered Robert Pirsig’s afterword in the edition I have of “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance“:

“Chris is dead. He was murdered … I go on living, more from force of habit than anything else … Where did Chris go?  … What was it I was so attached to? .. Do real things just disappear like that? … What is the ‘he’ that is gone? … What had to be seen was that the Chris that I missed so badly was not an object but a pattern, and that although the pattern included the flesh and blood of Chris, that was not all there was to it … Now, Chris’s body, which was a part of that larger pattern, was gone. But the larger pattern remained. A huge hole had been torn out of the center ot if, and that was what caused all the heart-ache … If you take that part of the pattern that is not the flesh of Chris and call if the “spirit” of Chris or the “ghost” of Chris, they you can say without further translation that the spirit or ghost of Chris is looking for a new body to enter … it was not many months later that my wife conceived, unexpectedly.”

Disclosure: I helped it to grab hold of the wire – but it’s been holding on … passionately … ever since

and this was our destination on a hill overlooking fruit-tree orchards (mostly peaches) that belong to our village

and a 1 year old orchard of kiwi plants … with the smoke of very-not-organic substances being spread in the background … our path took us literally around a few fields to where we could look back towards where we came from

Where we met the farmer from our village who was doing the spraying of not very-not-organic substances

… and the piles of chicken poop that are collected from the pens in our village

which meant we were getting close to our destination … which appeared soon after the next bend … with, what else, cows to greet visitors

… and after a short climb into the farm we met Hadad and his daughter and were able to take in a panoramic view of the way we had come

… and his son driving around with a dogish-looking navigator

… after a relaxed conversation and a small cup of strong coffee Hadad went to milk the goats

… and then filled up our bottles with all the milk he had – almost 6 liters

… and then refused to take our money and sent us home to process the milk with his best wishes

where we now have 6 jars of milk settling, 1 jar accumulating the fat that floats on top – which we will process into butter

and 1 jar to which we added some yogurt – to make more yogurt

little things and suprising gifts make for grand gestures and good feelings

Technology, in common with many other activities, tends toward avoidance of risks by investors. Uncertainty is ruled out if possible. Capital investment follows this rule since people generally prefer the predictable. Few recognize how destructive this can be, how it imposes severe limits on variability and thus makes whole populations fatally vulnerable to the shocking ways our universe can throw the dice.

As I read this I thought of Fred Wilson – the only person I currently read from venture-capital-startup-land. He appeared in my thoughts in two contexts: (1) he is a subject of Herbert’s writing; (2) I believe he believes he isn’t – because he subscribes to the fashionable idea of disruption. Disruptive is a popular theme in the world of technology startups. Luckily Fred also lists Yoga among his interests. I am more passionate and more knowledgeable in Yoga (then I am in business) so I would like to try exploring the subject in this light.

Agitation

My teacher recently hosted an event celebrating the launch of a new book in Hebrew about the Yoga Sutra. I didn’t attend the event nor have I seen the book but I did speak with my teacher about it before and after the event. The book is an academic analysis of the Yoga Sutra – it is an artifact of reading, writing and thinking – a product of mind. I am not inclined to reading it because to me the Yoga Sutra is a source of inspiration – I believe that intellectually dissecting it misses this quality and defeats it’s purpose.

My intuition (and prejudice) about the book was confirmed when my teacher described the author’s physical presence. She said that he was physically agitated and had very nervous body language. These are symptoms that Yoga, as outlined in the Yoga Sutra, describes as illness that can be healed. To me this says that this person does not yet know the Yoga Sutra.

Sloka 2.25 of the Yoga Rahasya states:

“The teacher, having understood the Sastra-s, must practice regularly for himself and then teach the prescribed asana-s to others.”

Energy: Health & Illness

Yoga views the body as a system of energy which flows through an extensive system of channels (nadi). In his book “What Are We Seeking?” TKV Desikachar likens our energy systems to a natural system of irrigation in which energy (like water) flows naturally. Optimal flow is a state of health. Optimal flow is disrupted when it encounters obstacles (in mind and body). An obstructed flow of energy manifests as illness (mental, emotional, physical, etc.).

Purification

Purification is a core idea in Yoga – it is intended to remove obstacles. Purification takes place in mind and body. Purification makes it possible for energy to resume it’s natural & healthy flow.

It is a common misperception that Yoga is a kind of peace-invoking practice when actually Yoga is a disruptive and agitating practice. To correctly understand the concept of disruption in Yoga it is necessary to remember the context in which it is being used – illness – the already disrupted flow of energy.

Note to Yogis: If you have taken offense from the suggestion you are in any way “ill” – please remember that Yoga sets a very high bar for “success” – unity with that which is within and eternal. In that light, manifestation in human form always falls short – it is an “illness”.

Administering Disruption

Yoga practices are a disruption of an already disrupted flow of energy. Proper application of Yoga is outlined in sloka 2.26 of the Yoga Rahasya:

“After having examined the origins of the diseases of the body and senses, the teacher must apply Kriya yoga. Otherwise there will be no benefits.”

Krishnamacharya‘s commentary adds:

“Before doing Kriya-yoga, the teacher must find out the history of the student’s illness and symptoms. Based on his observations he should ascertain the origin of the illness. After much meditation on this, he should teach the student the appropriate asana-s.”

A disruptive intervention assumes:

1. There is a student.
2. The student has a potential state of healthy energy flow.
3. The student is currently in a state of illness.
4. The illness is caused by obstacles which are disrupting the healthy flow of energy.
5. A purifying practice can remove the obstacles and restore healthy flow of energy.
6. A purifying practice needs to be administered by a teacher.
7. The teachers needs to be healthy.
8. The teacher needs to identify the student’s obstacles.
9. The teacher needs to meditate on this before acting.
10. The teacher needs to introduce a practice that is suitable for the student.

All of these are required for “disruption” … otherwise it will lead to more disruption, more obstacles more illness ..  at best “no benefits”.

A Good Example

Curiously, one technology project came to my mind, as I was writing, that is actually in the process of administering what seems like effective disruption. I thought it would be nice to see how it resonates with these assumptions. The project is Mozilla’s Drumbeat project:

1. Student: are people who are not aware of the value of and inherit threat to Internet freedom.
2. Healthy energy: the presence and involvement of people in a free Internet.
3. Illness: energy flow is currently compromised.
4. Obstacles: people’s lack of awareness to forces (business entities that are diverting the natural flow of energy for financial gain) threatening Internet freedoms.
5. Purifying: Drumbeat is trying to to make people aware of the benefits of participating in a free Internet.
6. Teacher: Drumbeat is created by Mozilla.
7. Healthy teacher: Mozilla is an organization dedicated to keeping the Internet free.
8. Identifying the obstacles: this is what Drumbeat is currently doing in the spirit of a free Internet (open collaboration).
9. Meditating – though some ideas have surfaced, they are gradually being developed and discussed – Mozilla is not shy about not knowing what needs to be done.
10. Practice – we’ll see what the future brings

An Unknown Example

Though Fred writes a lot and I’ve read much of his writing I have not yet seen through to a clear “disruption-purpose” that drives him. I believe he is inherently good but I also believe he exists in a disturbed (ill) system. I would like to see how these 10 principles apply to him and his business. The fact that he is a venture-capitalist makes it a formidable challenge. Tackling it, I believe, is a small step towards a better future.

Advertising Based Business Models

One of the most popular and undisputed revenue models amongst technology companies is advertising. These companies create an engaging service that is offered for free and captures the attention of it’s users and then sells that attention off to advertisers.

My jaw dropped when I recognized a description of this business model in the Yoga Rahasya – Sloka 1.42:

“Through the disturbance of Prana, all the indriya-s (senses), get disturbed and move along with the mind towards external objects, which are poisonous. Therefore, through exhalation, inhalation and retention, Prana must be regulated.”

According to Yoga philosophy Prana is something that Spirit created when it wanted the freedom to get around in the world (instead of just witnessing it). The first thing (before all of the subtle elements of nature) to manifest from Prana was faith. Prana is too great a force for any conscious entity to abuse. Faith isn’t.

Note to Yogis: Did you notice that breathing (not asana) is indicated as a primary practice to reducing the disturbance of Prana?

But, I believe that if you peal away the emotional layers, this is a wonderful example of intellect attacking social norms and a social system (in this case mainstream Israeli society) struggling to advance. A single homosexual father to surrogate-born twins is more then the current social system can accommodate. You can tell by the government officials’ lame responses – they are not really stupid people, they are facing a frightening change of social values – and their fear blinds them and … well makes them sound stupid. The problem is that the legal system has not yet matured enough and is not yet equipped to process this situation and as a result one man’s struggle is actually shouldering an entire society and its stagnant social values.

My family values are not typical family values – to be honest I don’t know yet know quite what they are. This current event together with my recent immersion in Robert Pirsig’s Metaphysics of Quality got me thinking about family.

On one hand family is the most fundemental building block in the social structure that is society. Family regulates the biological conditions for bringing new people into society. Family is the first and most dominant environment for transmission of social values to new members of society. Family embodies the most intense emotionally committing relationships. Family often represents a mechanism for acquiring social and economic status through marriage. Family often stretches out into adult life through family-businesses (Dad & Sons Inc.). While there are various social definitions of family, I am guessing that most (if not all) societies have some kind of construct that represent a basic social building block.

On the other hand family is the most exposed social building block to intellect-rooted change. Family is almost exlusively free (even in the most tightly controlled societies) to form it’s own mix of social & intellectual values. In the privacy of a home parents can choose to introduce intellectual values that are not aligned with the social norms of the world outside the home (or even the extended family). Almost all social structures outside the family are by definition larger and therefor more socially dominant – they are often charged with promoting and enforcing social values (especially education systems which are supposedly dedicated to intellectual values). Family is probably the only social structure where intellectual rebellion can find support – a father can choose to support a rebellious teen even though there may be a conflict in values – because family trumps!

Seen from the outside, family is a building block cemented into the foundations of society. Seen from the inside family is an incubator for change. Society is built upon family while family incubates dynamic change that will attack society and force it to change. In the war of social-vs.-intellect, family-bonding is poised (like carbon did for biology?) to tip the scales in favor of intellect.

Marriages (two people choosing to spend life together) that challenge religious and social boundaries, homosexuals, single-parents, surrogates … these are all expressions of change, of personal pursuit for fullfillment and expression, of intellectual liberation struggling against static social patterns … all taking place within family. For me that sheds new and important light on family!

It amuses and placates me to know that people like Andreea & I and this proud gay father are the ones carrying the torch of change on behalf of a unknowing and ignorant society who treats us like enemies.

I am assuming that there is a higher force / god / quality

I am assuming that this higher presence resides in everyone including you and I

I am assuming you can contain my bringing it up

It indicates that at some point in our recent conversation I probably lost track of it

It indicates that I realized I was lost

It indicates that I found it once again

It indicates that I have experienced again that which we have in common and gives us direction in life

It indicates that I am grateful for having seen this through you

It indicates that I am grateful to you for having given me this gift

What do you mean when you say namaste?

When the perceived world becomes to ominous for an individual to bare – depression is a popular solution that appears. Depression is sophisticated. It is a strategy of freedom through surrender. To the outside world it appears to be a collapse, and as such it disposes of almost all expectations. A depressed person is not expected to function and partake in the workings of the world. A depressed person is not held accountable emotionally intellectually, and even biologically (sustaining the body by eating and drinking). On the inside a depressed person is therefore free from responsibilities, even though on the outside this person may be completely dependent on others.

This internal place of freedom is a place of healing. Cumbersome chains of life are replaced by emptiness and unknown – by an opportunity for re-framing thoughts & emotions. Unfortunately it isn’t usually this idyllic because of interruptions from the outside world. Depression is frightening for observers, probably much more then it is to the depressed. Depression is not a pleasant sight, it isn’t intended to be. It doesn’t cater to outside expectations and norms – it is by it’s nature an escape from all these into a private, intimate and isolated place. It is as natural for observers to fear and misunderstand depression as it is for a depressed individual to embrace it.

When observers aren’t capable of containing their fears, they naturally act on them, they work to dispel them. Unfortunately, when it comes to depression they engage not themselves, but another, and not just any other – a depressed other, an other that is depressed because of similar previous unwanted engagements. They insist on helping, but their thoughts and actions are systemically perceived as threatening and aggressive by the depressed individual they are trying to help.

When observers are capable of containing their fears, they can create and facilitate a supportive experience. They can create a supportive, embracing, protective, light and spacious bubble in which a depressed person can rest and depression can do it’s job. They can help a natural process of healing take place. They can transform their fears into giving, understanding and love – and in doing so better themselves to.

When outside intervention interferes with depression the healing process is compromised. The process of getting better is interrupted. This is what happens with most medications for depression. Medication is easier for the observers because it reduces symptoms and promises “recovery”. Medication robs depressed people of their internal freedom. Medication is intended to pull them back into the reality they are trying to escape. As a result many people live their lives in a place of compromise, with a backdrop of depression that sometimes resurfaces, but is mostly contained & sustained. There is no way to completely uproot a inherent urge to change.

Sometimes when outside intervention interferes with depression it leads to suicide.

“The intelligence of the mind can’t think of any reason to live, but it goes on anyway because the intelligence of the cells can’t think of any reason to die.”

Robert Pirsig – Lila: An Inquiry into Morals

Suicide

Professionals often cite (though it is rarely public knowledge) suicide as one of the leading causes of death in societies – many times outnumbering and outweighing car accident deaths, terrorism, smoking & other life-threatening illnesses. In the dominant spirit of scientific thought this gives birth to the question of what can be done about it? What can be done do battle this disease?

But what if suicide is not an individual illness but an illness of society itself? A society in which so many individuals are choosing an extreme and deadly change needs to ask itself (if such a thing is possible) what are we doing wrong? How can we get better? What is it about our society that makes so many individuals prefer an unknown death over a known life? What is it about our society that makes it so difficult to even admit that we may be having a problem – that we don’t even dare talking about it?

People & societies are strongly affected by the adversities they meet and how they meet them. Terrorism is a prominant example of a force that shapes our lives – it fosters in us fear and violence. What would happen to our societies if we were to acknowledge and allow suicide to affect us? People who wield swords against a society need to be met with violence – hence violence manifests. People who shy away from society need to be met with love – is it not therefore reasonable to expect love to manifest?

Freedom

When depression calls out to you there is very little you can do to resist it. Once inside it is an amazingly peaceful and addictive experience – you really don’t want out. If you follow it through you will change. It is a liberating presence that takes you away from everything you know & despise to something that is unknown & unpredictable. Depression is a process of creating new life – a kind of rebirth.

The pursuit of creativity, inspiration, personal expression  & freedom is a sign of our times. It indicates that something is missing. People are looking for magical keys that will open magical doors to magical realms. What if for many people depression is/was their doorway & opportunity to this elusive salvation? What if they had been given the opportunity to go through it – would they have found what they are looking for? What if depression is another example of blindness to what is right before our eyes? What if depression is another example of a miraculous natural phenomenon we discard and trample because we don’t understand it?

It is naive to expect a life transforming experience to be a pleasant session of sitting in a group of people in a circle, all dressed in white, holding hands thinking positive thoughts decorated with tears of joy. Life transformation is a difficult and painful process of letting go of superficially comforting and familiar patterns and standing naked before the unknown. Depression is not a disease. Depression is a natural sedative that makes it sanely possible to enter an insanely terrifying change.

I now feel like I am riding one of those trains that can’t be stopped – there’s no going back, only moving forward. It is with this awareness that I meet everything I do. I am still very protective of this quality. It is, ironically, one of the only things left that can make me aggressive and violent. I have very little tolerance to what I perceive to be spiritual compromise. It is also therefore the source of my greatest frictions. I believe it to be the reason I now live in what seems like a growing (or shrinking) isolation.

I teach Yoga rarely because I am uninterested in the “popular & entertaining” qualities expected of it. My teachers have taught me to teach with a quality of “Give them what they you want so you can give them what you want”. I can do that, but only to a limited degree. I can be creative in tailoring tools and practices to meet individual needs (in one case I’ve even had to prohibit a student from actually doing Yoga in order to make a space for it). It is very difficult for me to teach generic/weekly Yoga classes for people who want to feel good about themselves by associating with Yoga superficially. There are plenty of teachers who do that, so I leave that to them.

Another, less obvious, example is creating websites – I don’t do much of that either. On a rare occasion that I do it is a wonderful process. For me it is very similar to teaching Yoga where instead of asana, breathing and meditation there is personal expression & discovery through writing. I have very little interest and patience for superficial aspects of “designing a website” – which is where most people get caught up. While I do appreciate good great design, it is, in my eyes, an empty & false shell unless it is anchored in a deeper sense of personal purpose & communication … or at least a craving for one.

My spirituality paints/taints everything I engage. You can have a flexible body and a good looking website – I just can’t help you with that unless I sense a deeper & spiritual connection. I assume this connection is always present or close by, and I always seek it out. But many times people don’t want that – and it becomes a source of friction. “Just make it look nice” they say, to which I usually reply “I wish you a pleasant and inspiring journey”.

On the face of things it seems that my spirituality has placed me in a place of separation rather than integration. This seems to be in contradiction with the spirit of Yoga, a spirit of union and integration. I can embrace the world around me as an observer, less so as a participant. My emotional body is hoping this will change. I sometimes wonder if I may be crazy? But the existence of a few rare & precious relationships in my life indicate that I am not.

click to play shakuhachi recording